Damaged Goods...

Nothing is more damaging to a new truth than an old error. I wanted to believe that when a person comes out of a bad relationship one could go into another one without the excess baggage..But that is not true. People need time to heal, weather it is physical or mental  abuse going on in the marriage or relationship..I found that If you haven't gotten over it, chances of you  getting into a new relationship without problems will be totally impossible. Everything that has gone wrong with the relationship will be your fault..How much time is needed? I gave myself about a few years..Because I was an angry woman.. I had to forgive..the wounds still felt fresh. I didn't want to date anybody with the attitude that I had..The best feelings in your life come when you start feeling good after you've been feeling just awful..We put up this protective wall not letting nothing in..But while we are blocking everything we are blocking the joy we could have..Its ok to learn from the past..But just don't live there!! It's ok to say, Well I  put up with this then, but not now...but every relationship is different..you can't base your past experience on what is happening with the here and now..It is true!! People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be..Many people feel "guilty" about things they shouldn't feel guilty about, in order to shut out feelings of guilt about things they should feel guilty about..Where is the boundary between your thoughts and feelings? Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude...It seems to me like this: it's not a terrible thing--I mean, it may be terrible, but it's not damaging, it's not poisoning--to do without something one really wants, What's really terrible is to pretend that the second-rate is the first-rate. To pretend that you don't need love when you do, or you like your work when you know quite well you're capable of better...