~Chicken Stew For The Soul~

I woke up this Morning decided to make some chicken stew, got the crock pot out and started the preparation, First it required an onion chopped in the bottom. as I was doing that my eyes had started to burn and i couldn't breath..leaving out the part about my allergies(lol).I had to back up to catch my breath..(I did rinse the onion like they say) but it was too much so i went to sit in another room to calm myself down..My imagination got the best of me.saying to myself. what if i can't breath what if i pass out? I got my grands here,I can't let that happen..after I came back to reality and washed my eyes and hands and went back to preparing my mind went back to how short life really is. It took me way back to the last three years of my life when I thought that the man in my life was the man that god had place there for the rest of my life. about halfway through the relationship, I started questioning God? I starting saying, God surely you didn't put this man in my life to spend with? No it can't be? We are as different as day and night. I was waiting on an answer from God..well one day Frank Ski(v-103 radio) told me in a message that God put people in our lives for different reasons.I went with that, But then i started to feel like I was not religious enough to see it and that a person who was much closer to God would see it right away. I am not religious, nor holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow. I know for years I ask God to send me my soul mate and I wanted to be able to recognize him and he recognize me. But what i knew fo'sho this was not it. But I stayed because he was using me as well I was using him. we say age ain't nothing but a number, but that's a MYTH. depending on how they have lived their lives, You can't teach an old dog new tricks. he already have his life set. along with that, he have the she done me wrong and I am not letting nobody else in.sorta speak. They say when we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be. But the first thing i hear "You are trying to change me". What? No.I am trying to show you how to live Sweet heart. When we go out, I say can you tip this young woman or man this is how they make a living. He said I don't owe them anything. Wow..One thing I didn't want to do was teach him how to love with your heart..Everything had his past attached. The past is not a package one can lay away...Bring the past only if you are going to build from it..It is true: People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be, I know why God put him in my life and I knew when it was time to move on.. I did walk away with a head full of knowledge. I was 15 years younger than he was but it felt like I was so far advanced because he stop living. and didn't even move with the times..He was still saying no i can't do that or that's not me. How would you know if you didn't just do it?.He did want to say "I love you". Fear I would use it to my advantage, some do, love is to be cherished. but when he did say it didn't mean much. Lessons learned. "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them. But when do you stop living? denying yourself of happiness due to fear.."Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it. We spend to much of our time worried about what others think, living up to others expectation of us..In truth, the ways in which your character is built have to do with three things: Those around you, those you choose, and those who choose you.. I don't want to be alone the rest if my life."My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return..